So here we go, my first real post. I guess I’ll start by talking about what is going on in my life right now. As I was thinking about it earlier today though, I realized that to fully appreciate the events of my life now requires looking back at how things were a few months ago. I will begin there, and I apologize if any of this is redundant for some people.
I’ll start with the night that started everything. There I was about halfway through the semester, walking outside in the cold dark and crying. I was having a talk with God and telling him I was not too happy with how my life was going at the time. I felt like I was doing everything I was supposed to do and wanted to know where the blessings were. I was working hard in school, but it just seemed to be taking over my life. It seemed like all of my time was spent doing homework. I was always stressed out and not handling it well. Just a couple of weeks earlier I had gotten myself stressed out to the point that when I got a 24 hour stomach bug it ended up keeping me in bed (or should I say on the couch) for almost an entire week. It had passed, but the scare that I could do that to myself had not passed. The only comfort I could find with the stress about school was that once I got through the semester I would have three whole months left to recover. Even that wasn’t to comforting though, as I must admit I was not too excited to go home. I really needed a job, but I knew that Ridgecrest is not a good place to try and find a job. I was trying to be a good Relief Society president, but I never felt like I was able to give the sisters the time and thought they deserved. I had lost enthusiasm for my major, and that worried me. I was trying to be a good person, but my social life outside of my roommates was pathetic. I was sick of spending my weekends just sitting in my apartment while it seemed like everyone else had things to do.
After reflecting on all this, I asked Heavenly Father what it was that I needed to change. I wanted change, but I realized that perhaps the key was to change myself. I promised then that I would make that change, whatever it was the He asked me to do.
I went back to my apartment and got to work trying to figure out what I needed to change. Little did I know the adventure I was about to get myself into. I thought about changing my major, but none of the other majors seemed right so that wasn’t it. Then I prayed. It was then that the thought crossed my mind that I did not have to go back to Ridgecrest for my off semester. I had grandparents who I could stay with in Utah, I had a sister who would have been happy to have me go stay with her in Montana, or… I could take a year off from school and go be a nanny. That last thought really stuck with me, and I knew that it was something I should seriously consider.
Two days later I was looking up online nanny agencies and even setting up accounts and applications. The next couple of weeks were full of thoughts of going off to be a nanny. My search was going really well, and things were looking really promising. I was feeling more hopeful about life too. Yes I was still stressed with school and all, but something new and exciting was happening. All of a sudden I wasn’t so worried about my social life either. There was a good chance that I wouldn’t be back for a little over a year.
There was only one problem: I still had yet to get a for sure answer to my prayers about whether or not I was actually supposed to go through with being a nanny. Some days I felt like I was supposed to do it, but other times I felt like I was supposed to go home and be with my family. It really bothered me that I had not gotten an answer yet. Time was running out. Finally on the day when it really couldn’t wait any longer, I got my answer. I needed to go home and then return to BYU-Idaho in April as scheduled. That same day, I received an email from my mom, talking about a job opportunity in Ridgecrest.
Twice now I had taken a leap of faith in being accepting of what God had asked me to do. Since then the blessings have not quit coming.
All of a sudden I found myself with a social life. New friends came into my life, and old friends began playing a larger part again. I even found a romantic interest, one that went both ways. I felt loved and accepted. I had a new attitude about school and about going home for the break. I knew that those were definitely the places I needed to be. I still had struggles to get through, but everything seemed so much more hopeful.
There have been so many blessings since coming home as well. I get to spend time with my family. I have gained a deeper appreciation and friendship with many of the people here in Ridgecrest. I have a wonderful job where I get to bless the lives of children with special needs and they get to bless my life in return. My job fits perfectly with giving me experience for my major of Early Childhood Education, and I am once again excited to be studying that field. I am getting lots of babysitting jobs which I love. I am once again feeling like I have some financial security. That has also been a huge blessing. I have an amazing young man in my life who teaches me so much and makes me so happy. I have an even greater appreciation and testimony of the fact that Heavenly Father loves us and gives us the blessings that we need when we need them.
The amazing thing is that I know that most of these things, if not all, are a direct result or blessing of the promise I made with Heavenly Father that I would do whatever he told me to do. When we do that, we open the way for blessings to flow down upon us. I am so happy with where things are right now. If you ask me, life doesn’t get much better than this.
